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angel ☀︎'s avatar

Having lost my chosen father recently, I've been holding grief at the center of my heart since then. I don't want to let go, because memories are all I have of him. But you're right, it's not about letting go, it's about holding differently. Thank you for this reframe.

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Valerie Livesay, PhD's avatar

angel, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand this draw to cling tightly to the grief...to keep it center stage lest we lose the memory of those we have lost. I felt this when my sister died. As time passed, I missed the daily (hourly, moment-to-moment) presence of the ache of her absence. Three-and-a-half years later, she is still with me, as is the grief. They've just taken up a different shape inside of me. And, I am a different shape now, hewed by both life and death.

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